This is the time of year when even people who hate the gym think about going to the gym. Many of us are still digesting whole floors of gingerbread houses, and jeans that fit comfortably in October are now a denim humiliation.
Sweating is a good way to begin 2012. Exercise, like dark chocolate and office meetings that suddenly get canceled, is a proven pathway to nirvana. But if you’re going to join a gym—or returning to the gym after a long hibernation—consider the following:
1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.
2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.
3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, stop carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.
4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading “The New Yorker” and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.
5. Bring your iPod. Don’t borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the sad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it’s playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.
6. Don’t fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.
7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn’t bought a record since “Walking on Sunshine.”
8. There’s also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you think he isn’t here today…there he is, lurking by the barbells.
9. ”Great job!” is trainer-speak for “It’s not polite for me to laugh at you.”
10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.
11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.
12. Nope, that’s not a “recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate.” That’s a chocolate bar.
13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.
14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that’s super tough!
15. If you’re motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a “wooden coat rack.” It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.
16. There’s the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor everyone hates. Memorize who they are.
17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you’re either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.
18. Be cautious about any class with the words “sunrise,” “hell,” or “Moby.”
19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it’s hard. If you’re relaxed and enjoying yourself, you’re at brunch.
20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent meditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.
21. Don’t buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts are for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.
22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you’re basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.
23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.
24. If you’re at the point where you’ve bought biking shoes for the spinning class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It’s way more fun and it doesn’t make you listen to C+C Music Factory.
25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.
26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it’s good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it’s not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.
27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.
Mister Rogers and the Dalai Lama
15 Reasons Mister Rogers Was the Best Neighbor Ever
1. Even Koko the Gorilla Loved Him
Most people have heard of Koko, the Stanford-educated gorilla who could speak about 1000 words in American Sign Language, and understand about 2000 in English. What most people don’t know, however, is that Koko was an avid Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood fan. As Esquire reported, when Fred Rogers took a trip out to meet Koko for his show, not only did she immediately wrap her arms around him and embrace him, she did what she’d always seen him do onscreen: she proceeded to take his shoes off!
2. He Made Thieves Think Twice
According to a TV Guide profile, Fred Rogers drove a plain old Impala for years. One day, however, the car was stolen from the street near the TV station. When Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by every newspaper, radio and media outlet around town. Amazingly, within 48 hours the car was left in the exact spot where it was taken from, with an apology on the dashboard. It read, “If we’d known it was yours, we never would have taken it.”
3. He Watched His Figure to the Pound
In covering Rogers’ daily routine (waking up at 5; praying for a few hours for all of his friends and family; studying; writing, making calls and reaching out to every fan who took the time to write him; going for a morning swim; getting on a scale; then really starting his day), writer Tom Junod explained that Mr. Rogers weighed in at exactly 143 pounds every day for the last 30 years of his life. He didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, didn’t eat the flesh of any animals, and was extremely disciplined in his daily routine. And while I’m not sure if any of that was because he’d mostly grown up a chubby, single child, Junod points out that Rogers found beauty in the number 143. According to the piece, Rogers came “to see that number as a gift… because, as he says, “the number 143 means ‘I love you.’ It takes one letter to say ‘I’ and four letters to say ‘love’ and three letters to say ‘you.’ One hundred and forty-three.”
4. He Saved Both Public Television and the VCR
Strange but true. When the government wanted to cut Public Television funds in 1969, the relatively unknown Mister Rogers went to Washington. Almost straight out of a Capra film, his 5-6 minute testimony on how TV had the potential to give kids hope and create more productive citizens was so simple but passionate that even the most gruff politicians were charmed. While the budget should have been cut, the funding instead jumped from $9 to $22 million. Rogers also spoke to Congress, and swayed senators into voting to allow VCR’s to record television shows from the home. It was a cantankerous debate at the time, but his argument was that recording a program like his allowed working parents to sit down with their children and watch shows as a family.
5. He Might Have Been the Most Tolerant American Ever
Mister Rogers seems to have been almost exactly the same off-screen as he was onscreen. As an ordained Presbyterian minister, and a man of tremendous faith, Mister Rogers preached tolerance first. Whenever he was asked to castigate non-Christians or gays for their differing beliefs, he would instead face them and say, with sincerity, “God loves you just the way you are.” Often this provoked ire from fundamentalists.
6. He Was Genuinely Curious About Others
Mister Rogers was known as one of the toughest interviews because he’d often befriend reporters, asking them tons of questions, taking pictures of them, compiling an album for them at the end of their time together, and calling them after to check in on them and hear about their families. He wasn’t concerned with himself, and genuinely loved hearing the life stories of others. Amazingly, it wasn’t just with reporters. Once, on a fancy trip up to a PBS exec’s house, he heard the limo driver was going to wait outside for 2 hours, so he insisted the driver come in and join them (which flustered the host). On the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver’s home on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet his family. According to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life—the house supposedly lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night. Further, like with the reporters, Rogers sent him notes and kept in touch with the driver for the rest of his life.
7. He Was Color-blind
Literally. He couldn’t see the color blue. Of course, he was also figuratively color-blind, as you probably guessed. As were his parents who took in a black foster child when Rogers was growing up.
8. He Could Make a Subway Car full of Strangers Sing
Once while rushing to a New York meeting, there were no cabs available, so Rogers and one of his colleagues hopped on the subway. Esquire reported that the car was filled with people, and they assumed they wouldn’t be noticed. But when the crowd spotted Rogers, they all simultaneously burst into song, chanting “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.” The result made Rogers smile wide.
A few more things about him…
9. He Got into TV Because He Hated TV. The first time he turned one on, he saw people angrily throwing pies in each other’s faces. He immediately vowed to use the medium for better than that. Over the years he covered topics as varied as why kids shouldn’t be scared of a haircut, or the bathroom drain (because you won’t fit!), to divorce and war.
10. He Was an Ivy League Dropout. Rogers moved from Dartmouth to Rollins College to pursue his studies in music.
11. He Composed all the Songs on the Show, and over 200 tunes.
12. He Was a perfectionist, and Disliked Ad Libbing. He felt he owed it to children to make sure every word on his show was thought out.
13. Michael Keaton Got His Start on the Show as an assistant — helping puppeteer and operate the trolley.
14. Several Characters on the Show are Named for His Family.Queen Sara is named after Rogers’ wife, and the postman Mr. McFeely is named for his maternal grandfather who always talked to him like an adult, and reminded young Fred that he made every day special just by being himself. Sound familiar? It was the same way Mister Rogers closed every show.
15. The Sweaters. Every one of the cardigans he wore on the show had been hand-knit by his mother.Best human
I used to love watching Mr Rogers, seriously.
crying
wow i’m feeling a lot of feelings right now
we miss you Mister Rogers ;_;
New York City’s Lost Subways: A Ghost System Beneath the Streets
The New York City subway system has 842 miles of track, but WNYC reveals “there’s even more to it than riders see: dozens of tunnels and platforms that were either abandoned or were built but never used.” This ghost system beneath the streets “reveals how the city’s transit ambitions have been both realized and thwarted.”
Oh I love this so much.
DOES ANYONE SEE THE ONE THAT LEADS DIRECTLY TO STATEN ISLAND!?!?!?! UNDERWATER SUBWAY!!!
2012 Places to Eat
New Year’s Resolutions are hard to keep except when it comes to eating food!
- JapaDog
- Clifton Baking Co. - Pancakes
- La Colombe - Coffee
- Soccarat - Seafood Paella
- Francois Payard Bakery
To be continued…
9gag:
We saw these at a Taiwanese carnival and my mom wouldn’t let us get any because she was afraid we would get diarrhea from it. Bummer.
On Cursing
I’ve always learned in church that cursing is bad. I’ve even taught that lesson myself in youth group. I remember it well because I poured over the Bible for texts condemning cursing. Here’s one of my favorites from James 3:5-8:
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
“It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” - man, that sounds serious. When I was younger, I never cursed out loud and rarely inside my head but it wasn’t a trait I felt necessary to condemn in others since I thought these were sincere words coming out of their mouths and, unless you change their hearts, stopping them from cursing isn’t really doing much of anything except suppressing their ability to genuinely communicate with you.
But let’s get back to that deadly poison. When people curse out of anger, intending to “curse” someone or break someone down, not only does anger poison your own body but it kind of makes your immediate environment vile when you spew those words out of your mouth. Plus, it’s not classy and who wants to be friends with an unclassy slimeball?
For me, I’m not a great speaker to begin with. As an introvert, I’m usually not the one carrying the conversation unless I have to. I much prefer digesting everyone’s thoughts in my mind, packaging it all nicely in my brain and then delivering my short spiel at the end. This form of conversational participation requires a great deal of time in crafting words to say but very few moments actually speaking. I notice that when I start using curse words, it drastically inhibits my ability to articulate what I really intend to say.
So is all cursing off the table for Christians?
At my workplace, a great number of people curse and I’ve slowly increased my cursing, not so much out loud but under my breath and in my head. I’m easily influenced by other people’s bad habits and so I’ve always had to put on the self-control stopper to help myself remain on the road to trying to be holy as God desires…and it’s seriously hard sometimes. It’s hard because when it’s late at night, the wine is out on the table, and the VPs are cursing it off a storm, I want to be a part of that camaraderie. I don’t want to be the stiff necked religious person because I really don’t think Jesus would have acted that way but I don’t think Jesus would start chucking cursing grenades either. This is where coming to Jesus is important, coming to Jesus and asking for guidance because you realize you’re incapable of doing it without Him. Duh, the Christian life lesson.
Paul cursed in the Bible, whenever you see him say feces, dung, garbage or rubbish, he’s basically saying shiz. Check out Philippians 3. I think it’s pretty appropriate. He is using the word to get a message across that is not obscene, slanderous or used to break down or destroy a person. Fair game. If you use profanity in the same way, where your motivation is to bring people together and help others understand the magnitude of God over us, fair game to you as well.
Cursing in humor is also something I think is fine. You’re bringing laughter in the world and most comedy sketches or personal jokes incorporating cursing oftentimes highlights the absurd ways in which we replace regular words with profanity. It makes light of our own idiocies, kind of like Dave Chapelle and his “racist” comedy sketches.
As Christians, we often the miss the point. I do it all the time. I reflect on my day once in a while and realize in hindsight that I did nothing that glorified God even though I followed all the “rules”. Where is your heart today? Love God through loving his people.
http://reformandrevive.com/2009/07/28/wtfwjd-on-christian-cursing/
On Homosexuality
I know that many churches do not handle the issue of homosexuality very well. It’s usually not discussed, glossed over, discussed with hateful undertones or outright words of condemnation. I was reading Village Church’s statement on homosexuality and found it to be clear, well-written and very much in the spirit of biblical texts:
“The Village Church feels compelled to apologize, on behalf of the Church at large, for the demonization of homosexuality and the shunning or rejecting of any individuals for their same-sex desires. We affirm, in the strongest possible way, that those of us who are heterosexual in desire are not more righteous or more entitled to the grace of Jesus Christ than those of us who are homosexual. Nor are heterosexuals in less need of that grace.
The Village Church stands against any form of evil, including prejudice, bigotry and violence. We believe that moral disagreement is not a license for slander or harassment of any contrary group.
The Village Church also highly esteems the marriage covenant. This gift from God has been given to us to learn of God’s love for us, for our enjoyment and for procreating His image-bearers to fill the earth. Along with the clear teaching in the Sacred Scriptures, we affirm that this gift, which pertains to our lives’ most intimate relationships, is to be expressed through a union that is life-long, monogamous, and across the genders. The importance of gender in defining the marriage covenant is affirmed throughout the Bible, including the specific teaching of our Lord Jesus Christ himself (Matthew 19:4-6). In short, Christian marriage is given to be between one man and one woman.
Among the manifold blessings of marriage is sexual intimacy. Sexual activity outside of this sacred covenant, otherwise known as fornication, is sinful (Mark 7:21-23, Galatians 5:19). Hence, Jesus’ alternative to heterosexual marriage is celibacy (Matthew 19:10-12). Though we repent of any needless pain caused by the Church to those who struggle with same-sex desires, and though same-sex unions may supply some of the benefits, such as pleasure and companionship, which God, in His common grace, bestows on us through relationships, we cannot affirm same-sex unions as God’s will for followers of Christ. Homosexual acts are not more deserving of condemnation than any other sexual acts that disrupt this covenant design.
Furthermore, the Village Church is committed to celebrating gender, the deeply Biblical reality of our identities. We believe that it is dehumanizing to compel anyone to found his or her identity on sexual desires. So we resist efforts to coerce people into labeling themselves as “gay” or “lesbian” just because they have same-sex attractions. We harm people when we make the nature of their sexual attraction their identifying characteristic. Rather, all of us can find healing and direction through more deeply understanding and affirming our genders as women and men.
Finally, the Village Church vehemently resists the denial of choice to those seeking change. The process of change takes different forms for different people, but we pledge to walk beside those with unwanted same-sex desires, who wish to take the Scriptures, and the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit, seriously. God always makes a way for us, wherever we are in our life experience. So we invite all to find the freedom of obedience to Christ here alongside fellow sinners made new. The church is here to provide an environment of grace that allows failure alongside the challenge to growth, whether in this area of behavior or in any other.
To those opening their hearts to this transforming power of God, the Village Church opens its doors with a warm welcome.
For more information on how The Village Church practices what we preach, check out the G.A.M.E. (Gender Affirming Ministry Endeavor) ministry page.”
I think I appreciate the way this is written because it expresses love rather than condemnation. They don’t beat around the bush about the Church’s stance on homosexuality but brings into view the role that the community plays in helping each other as we are all equally sinful in our own ways but, in community, are striving to be more Christ-like together. In John 3:17 it says, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
gq:
The Script That Would’ve Made Hugo 42 Times Better
Okay, so we saw Hugo over the weekend, and we liked it. A lot, actually. This 3D kid flick might just be Martin Scorsese’s finest film in decades. Yet we couldn’t help but feel like something was missing—perhaps the “farting dog” we spotted in an earlier draft.
Even professional editors recommend tasteful fart jokes every once in a while
One of the most powerfully written articles I’ve read on the Advent.
