Mobility Issues
As someone in the marketing field, I take special notice to the advertisements I get. I keep getting these really great direct mailers from The Scooter Store. I don’t know why they suddenly started sending me these things, I’m obviously not in their ideal demographic but I get them nonetheless and they bring absurd hilarity to my overwhelmingly adventurous life. The newest mailer offers a “FREE Personal Mobility Assessment”. I usually just toss these things away but the fact that it’s a FREE quiz is simply irresistible. Let’s see how I do:
Do you sometimes feel left out by not being able to get together with family and friends?
No, why would I want to go out on a Saturday when I can snuggle in the warmth of my bed and blankets with the sun shining on my face? Life is good in that very moment, don’t mess yo.
Do you have health-related issues that limit your mobility?
Is laziness a health-related issue? No? Then no.
Are you having trouble getting to your kitchen or dining facility by yourself for a meal?
Definitely not.
Is it difficult for you to get to the bathroom on your own?
Nope, I’m good.
Are you unable to easily access your clothes and dress yourself each day?
I can access my clothes, it’s the dressing myself that’s hard - who invented dress pants and office wear? I JUST WANT TO WEAR SWEATPANTS TO WORK!
Have you lost the ability to operate a manual wheelchair inside your home?
I have a manual wheelchair inside my home? Since when?
Are you feeling like a bother to others due to limited mobility?
I thought we ruled out that I don’t have limited mobility.
Have you fallen in the past 12 months?
Surprisingly no. The klutz has remained unfallen!
It then says if I have answered “yes” to any of the above questions that I should call up one of their expert Mobility Consultants.
To make it even more bomb diggity, they offer to send a FREE Puzzles and Games booklet after I give an expert Mobility Consultant a call. So I can do exciting things with a new scooter - like fill out a puzzles and games booklet! Huzzah!
