Smattering of Thoughts
I’ve been working until almost midnight every day this past week and it’s caused me to think about what I’ve been doing with my life.
I want to be passionate about my work and have it make a positive impact. I don’t think I’m afraid of working hard, I’m afraid of being enslaved to work I hate doing. I want to learn new things and sharpen my strengths.
The work is sometimes cool and sometimes rough, the field is interesting, and my colleagues are solid all around good people. My colleagues are great because they care for me as a person just as much as they do for my professional career. Plus, they’re cool and funny people which doesn’t hurt to have in a workplace environment. Sometimes, we work long and late hours but it’s never without the midnight stress-relieving shenanigans. I’m thankful for that. Plus, every night this week I’ve interacted with the cleaning staff and chatted with every livery car driver I’ve had going home. Honestly, I think I’ve asked Jesus to lead me through almost every conversation especially with the drivers since it’s a pretty long ride home. I want to be able to bring a piece of Christ into the conversation. Not exactly hardcore evangelism but blessing them somehow with the best blessing I have on hand. I don’t know if any of our conversations ever did bring anything to fruition. We just talked about boring normal life stuff but I think invoking God to be in the very present moment does something, I don’t know what.
I guess I want to share a piece of Christ to everyone at work. I have no idea how I’m going to do this but I’m going call on God, put it in his hands and trust he knows what’s up and what’s down and give me opportunities to do this.
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I don’t make great heaping piles of money but I make enough that I need to spend time thinking where I want to allocate it. My first inclination is to always be safe, to save and spend conservatively. I want to be comfortable with mild luxuries. It’s weird though, I can’t think of a person I truly admire who lives life like that. I don’t want to live selfishly but it gnaws on my mind on how I can live loving generously.
I always want to live with the thought that God is the owner of all I have and I am simply the steward of these riches. It is not mine to keep but mine to give.
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I haven’t been going to church regularly. This is a huge no-no in Christian circles. I’m not going to lie though, it has been nice to take a break from it. Meeting God in different circumstances has been restorative in many ways. Before you start on the lecture of why Christians should regularly go to church, I know already. Yes, I can go off on my own to some church but my family hasn’t been going to church either so my hope is to find someplace we can all go to. Except how many bilingual churches are there with strong Christian communities in both languages and age groups? They’re hard to find. Pray for me on this one and perhaps prod my lazy-leaning behind.
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I’d like to get back into shape (not that I was ever in any flattering shape but at least things didn’t jiggle like a jello block). I want to go running and work on agility drills outside. I think this will give me increased energy and a sharper mind. Not this foggy haze that comes in my mind every once in a while now. It’s hard to work efficiently through a foggy daze especially at 3pm after lunch - it’s the worst! Current barriers to achieving this goal: (1) The weather is not nice but it’s nice inside my blankie tent, (2) my parents worry and always want to know where I’m going, what I’m doing, and if/when I’m going to die doing it, (3) it is boring, (4) I can only do cardio in the mornings since I get home too late at night - nights can be for weights and those ab-olicious exercises. Mornings are the worst because there is a time crunch to shower and then I’m super tired by the time I get to work.
Let’s see if these are just words or if I’m actually going to do it.
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I need to clean my room and live in a more organized manner. I know this is so rudimentary but my mom is right - it’s rare to find a successful person who isn’t clean and organized. Gah, I have to scrub down the bathroom too.
Oh and I need to buy more work clothes.
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This just ended up being a to-do-list of my life. My bads.
